I just googled myself, looking for something I’d written, and happened upon a blog written about me by Cathi Carol (http://cathicarolblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/anne-c-woodlen/).
I can’t find any place on her blog where I can comment, which is the first problem. On my blog, you just scroll down and leave a reply—no registration, no sign-in, no switching to other pages. I really want to hear your responses to what I write. Even if they are nasty, I’ll read them and sometimes even post them—I’m that secure. Apparently Carol doesn’t really want to know what you think. She writes without listening; that might be narcissistic.
The second problem is that Carol claims that I am her friend and I have hurt her. She and I have never met or even talked on the phone. She has read some of what I’ve written and occasionally commented. That’s not friendship. In this time of instant intimacy, a wise person maintains polite boundaries that are reasonably protective. We are strangers.
The third problem is that she accuses me of narcissism. Fact is, I accept responsibility for my life and writings. I don’t say “we” or “you” because I don’t know about we or you; I know about me. I use my life for the examples of the ideas I espouse. Putting my own life experiences out in public is an act of courage, not self-centeredness.
The fourth problem is that I wrote about a colleague/friend/therapist/lover. I did not identify him by name, place or position—and Carol decided to defend him. She had never met, talked to, or apparently even read anything he’d written, therefore, her defense of him was not based on any independent knowledge of him.
I was trying, for the benefit of hundreds of readers, to address the question of boundaries. What are the differences between friendship, collegiality, therapy and lovers? In a later post, I revealed that I was writing about Richard Gottlieb, a therapist who has been having sex with his patients. (“Nobody could make up this stuff.” Parts I and II https://behindthelockeddoors.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/nobody-could-make-up-this-stuff-part-ii/)
Cathi Carol, writing without knowing, defended a sexual predator.