“I Alone Am Left . . .”


May first.  Not feeling so good.  Sleeping sixteen hours a day.  Glucose 423 yesterday morning.  Urine output up by 30%.  Doctor says I’ll wind up in the hospital from dehydration within 3-5 days.  That assumes I’ll call for an ambulance.  Can’t take drugs due to lithium damage to my immune system.  Too late, too late, too late.

N.B.:  By Kristina Paglio, eHow Contributor
High blood sugar, or hyperglycemia, affects multiple aspects of a
person’s health and well-being. Testing by a physician should be done
when persistent symptoms of high blood sugar are present.

Significance
Hormones, such as insulin, control the level of glucose in the blood.
Too much sugar in the bloodstream can cause damage to the vessels that
supply blood to vital organs and allow unstable hormone balances to
persist.

Hormones
People with high blood sugar may respond emotionally to their hormone
levels, and may experience strong mood swings.

Strong Emotions
Strong unpleasant emotions can affect both mental stability and hormone
levels. Primary emotions experienced are usually guilt, anger, fear and
sadness.

Other Symptoms
Accompanying symptoms of high blood sugar can include fatigue, mental
impairment, frequent urination, dehydration and insomnia. In severe
cases, uncorrected high blood sugar can result in coma.

Emotional Effects
Depression can be experienced if high blood sugar is left untreated for
a long period of time and is usually a diabetic condition indicator.

Because I trusted my doctor; because I took antidepressants; because I was poisoned with lithium, now my immune system is so corrupted that I can’t tolerate any medications for anything.  I have diabetes, which is an entirely treatable disease, except that I can’t tolerate the medicine.

In the Holy Bible, Book of Job, as each of Job’s crops, herds and properties are destroyed by Satan, a servant comes running to Job to break the bad news to him.  Each servant says, “I alone am left to tell you.”

I alone am left to tell you that psychiatric medications are the work of the devil and will cause you to lose everything that you hold dear–health, family, money, friends–gone, all gone.

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About annecwoodlen

I am a tenth generation American, descended from a family that has been working a farm that was deeded to us by William Penn. The country has changed around us but we have held true. I stand in my grandmother’s kitchen, look down the valley to her brother’s farm and see my great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Hannah standing on the porch. She is holding the baby, surrounded by four other children, and saying goodbye to her husband and oldest son who are going off to fight in the Revolutionary War. The war is twenty miles away and her husband will die fighting. We are not the Daughters of the American Revolution; we were its mothers. My father, Milton C. Woodlen, got his doctorate from Temple University in the 1940’s when—in his words—“a doctorate still meant something.” He became an education professor at West Chester State Teachers College, where my mother, Elizabeth Hope Copeland, had graduated. My mother raised four girls and one boy, of which I am the middle child. My parents are deceased and my siblings are estranged. My fiancé, Robert H. Dobrow, was a fighter pilot in the Marine Corps. In 1974, his plane crashed, his parachute did not open, and we buried him in a cemetery on Long Island. I could say a great deal about him, or nothing; there is no middle ground. I have loved other men; Bob was my soul mate. The single greatest determinate of who I am and what my life has been is that I inherited my father’s gene for bipolar disorder, type II. Associated with all bipolar disorders is executive dysfunction, a learning disability that interferes with the ability to sort and organize. Despite an I.Q. of 139, I failed twelve subjects and got expelled from high school and prep school. I attended Syracuse University and Onondaga Community College and got an associate’s degree after twenty-five years. I am nothing if not tenacious. Gifted with intelligence, constrained by disability, and compromised by depression, my employment was limited to entry level jobs. Being female in the 1960’s meant that I did office work—billing at the university library, calling out telegrams at Western Union, and filing papers at a law firm. During one decade, I worked at about a hundred different places as a temporary secretary. I worked for hospitals, banks, manufacturers and others, including the county government. I quit the District Attorney’s Office to manage a gas station; it was more honest work. After Bob’s death, I started taking antidepressants. Following doctor’s orders, I took them every day for twenty-six years. During that time, I attempted%2
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6 Responses to “I Alone Am Left . . .”

  1. Gravitas says:

    All points that I can agree with… except for the last one. I have personally met, and befriended, a person in a wheel-chair. And I would love to meet Stephan Hawking. 😉 — In any case, I will not be taking drugs for this anytime soon. I’m still thinking I would rather be dead than do that.

  2. Gravitas says:

    Yeah, that’s pretty much my position on medications. I don’t have the experience that you and others have with the system, but I certainly appreciate when people with the experience choose to articulate it for others.

    I’ve read so much and I just can’t reconcile the positive with all the negative.

    • annecwoodlen says:

      I am interested in your comment that you “can’t reconcile the positive with all the negative.” Would you please expound on what you mean?

      • Gravitas says:

        I know that psychiatric medication is the only way some people get through the day. There are some people that consider themselves to be very well treated, and that their lives are very much improved with the administration of drugs. Either the side-effects are mild, or they consider that the benefits outweigh the difficulties of the medications. That is what I mean by the positives: There are cases where the results have been brilliant and acceptable to the user.

        At the same time, I find as many (or perhaps more) cases detailing a terrible mismanagement of the prescriptions, or myriad side-effects that, to my mind, are just as bad as the illness. I find these negatives, in the fact of them and in the threat of them, to be too much. My mind is not at ease to consider medication as an option. Would they help me? There is that chance… but through the research I’ve done, it seems that there are more likely to be serious complications that would not improve my life and would quite possibly make things worse.

      • annecwoodlen says:

        The only way some other people get through the day is by snorting cocaine. Drugs to change how how feel are all drugs to change how you feel, whether they are street drugs or office drugs.

        About the people who appear happy and to be doing well on drugs, I would ask a few questions. First, the efficacy of antidepressants is now put at 30%, however, a wise old psychiatrist I know puts it much lower. So maybe these people who are doing well fixed themselves. Maybe they are crediting drugs for work they’ve actually done to recover. Or maybe they’ve only been taking the drugs a short time and are still on the honeymoon. The longer you take drugs, the more damaging they become. People on long-term antipsychotics show loss of brain mass.

        The really dangerous thing is that once you start taking antidepressants, they impair your critical thinking to the point where you can’t stop taking them. The changes in your personality and behavior occur so slowly that you don’t realize that you’re becoming worse, and you no longer can think clearly enough to figure out why. During the latter decades of my drugging, I never did any research into the effects of antidepressants because the drugs had made me compliant and unable to challenge or question any assumptions.

        If an indepth, long-term study were done of the people who claim to be doing well on drugs, I think the results would be different than the claims. How high is the drug dosage? How long have they been taking them? How many different drugs are they taking? What were they prescribed to treat? Compare and contrast, before and after drugging, family relationships, physical health, work performance, spirituality, friendships, dating patterns, etc.

        We all would like to believe that doctors know what they are doing and that drugs heal emotional problems, but the facts don’t support those beliefs. Emotional distress is not a brain disorder; it is a social disorder. It is trauma and dysfunction between you and people who are significant in your life. That is a very, very hard thing to confront, and those who have injured you certainly don’t want to see it, know it, or deal with it. And the person who has suffered the damage often is at a loss to understand what happened, particularly when surrounded by people who deny reality.

        I did not stop taking antidepressants and figure out what was wrong until I was in my mid-fifties, and by then it was too late to have a life. It was too late to have children, get a degree, or develop a career–and you can’t make new friends from a wheelchair.

      • Gravitas says:

        Here’s one of the posts in which I mentioned my views. There are probably a couple of others, but I don’t remember all of them anymore. 😉
        http://deeproads.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/this-is-not-my-face/

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